I read this article over at Physics.org. It seem that there is a species of frogs that can tune their hearing. The summary also says that it is the only animal known to be able to do that. My observations have doubts about that. Observations are often the first step in understanding new correlations.
I have observed that parents have long been known to have the ability to tune their hearing. Unlike the frogs, I think it has more to do with post-eardrum processing. Regardless, I think we should study this matter further.
Remember the first time you asked Dad for the car? I know my father didn't hear me. There was silence, no acknowledgment... nothing.
I thought he had completely lost his hearing, seizing opportunity, I took the car. Apparently he did hear it start up. Unfortunately, convinced he was deaf and being a dumb sixteen year old with a one day old license, I didn't hear his screams over the burning rubber and revving engine. His hearing was perfectly normal in regards to me turn back into the driveway. Then, as I closed the car door, MY hearing was nearly ruptured by the verbal assault that ensued as if from one of the beast in the Book of Revelation.
I thought using his earlier loss and pleading the "genetic inheritance" argument might help but either it set the deafness off again or it had started before my attempt. The deafness spread to others as well. Neither him, my mother, my siblings or any of the neighbors heard my pleas to stop the beating. That was my first real life example of what I call "selective hearing". (I coined the phrase right after I regained consciousness from the beating.) Here are few examples:
Misbehaving children and the word "NO"
The effect seems to be most pronounced as they head into their teens. If they learn to really master this, groom well and dress decent, they grow up to be salespersons. The more selective the hearing, the more they sell.
Your boss when you request a raise
The more selective, the same for a vacation, time off for surgery or funeral, and toilet paper in the bathroom.
Subordinates cannot seem to hear any vocabulary associated with increasing productivity
The more selective also ignore bells that start work, terminate breaks and end lunch. Ironically they still respond to the bells that start breaks, start lunch and end the day.
College Fraternity Men can't hear the words "clean up"
They can hear a certain all beverage containers opening clear across campus and, for the senior members, across any state but Alaska. This gift seems accentuated in the vicinity of Sorority Row and the female dorms, especially the female athletic dorms.
This group may well be the most adapt at this. They even seem to have additive and subtractive logic with the selectivity. As if some enormous sampled database were put to work. I question if that is possible, the amount of "sampling" would border on obsessive compulsive, the human liver just couldn't endure that much sampling. Nonetheless, the observed seem to be using the selective hearing to assure success at the goals most important to them at that time in their lives.
For example, if the beverage container is just milk, they do not usually respond. If it is beer, they almost always respond. However if it is milk AND Kahlua the response is almost 100% and, in fact, it seems that only those lactose intolerant do not respond. Beer alone, again baring allergies, shows a near 100% response rate. Coke has a moderate response rate alone but skyrockets with rum.
Beer AND milk however only seem to have a response for those who have also campaigned to convert the boiler room at the fraternity house into living quarters. Police sirens and mail couriers with report cards seem to universally exhibit panic behavior in all fraternal members so, in this call for papers, please consider this group adverse and abnormal.
There is also a very unique and special form of "selective hearing" known only to spouses. It actually distorts what is heard. Have we not all heard the he wife will say "We need to do laundry" and later the husband states hearing "I thought you said you were going to do the laundry" ? Since this is a distortion and not deafness, it should be another subject of study.
I believe my observations indicate that there are many examples of tunable hearing. These observations merit further study. Please send your papers and your entire wallet to:
The "I'm not Listening"
The Institute for the Advancement of Nothing
Attn: Dr. Ima Kwack, D.O., PhD, and BMW
Thanks for reading. Feel free to leave your favorite selective hearing story as a comment.
