Lumpy's Corner

Now, forgive my lack of transition here, back to my ride of life. My third shift, as I said, was pretty normal. I was a tad tired but it was nothing that my coffee could not remedy. Monday first shift also started normal but ended early and not in a manner to my likening. I started the shift an hour earlier than normal in order to "bank" hours rather than use my "paid time off" or PTO for short. Although I was a bit tired on the previous shift, this feeling had passed caffeine and daylight have this effect on my. I now felt alert and ready to deal with the day. I started my shift in the normal manner, tending to the Sinclair Swine I take care of. This when life's coaster took its first turn for one of those unexpected encounters.

This is when I had an encounter not exactly pleasing with one of my pigs. This particular pig weighs about 55 kilograms and is, to say the least, a bit excitable. He rather loves water, plays with the hose and is very affectionate. Unfortunately, he does not understand that he is as large as he is. This can make husbandry (caring for animals) task a challenge. Swine tend to rub up against your legs in a manner similar to a cat. This is a sign of affection. They also rub their head against your calf like a cat. Unfortunately they have more mass than a cat and this behavior can have the same effect as a well place "roll block" by a fullback in an American football game.

They also have larger teeth than domestic felines. In one of his affectionate nudges my buddy punctured my left calf. At first, I thought "that's gonna leave a mark", seconds later, I felt a warm wet liquid on my calf. His tooth went right through my boot and about a half an inch into my calf. I then realized I was heading to the emergency room. Although some of my co-workers thought it rather bad, I felt it was more of a nuisance. My goal was to go to the emergency room, fill out the paper work and return to work. The coaster was not about to let me take that path.

I walked over to the emergency room, which is literally right across the street. I explained the nature of the injury and waited... and waited... and waited. I did take advantage of this and manage to read a book I had brought along for my daily commute. Finally they took me to triage, and examined the wound. The wound is basically an irregular puncture about 3/4 of an inch deep. It needed a good cleaning; I needed an IV bag of antibiotics. They also needed to draw blood for various test to assure that I did not contract some type of lethal pathogen.

The wound, however, was not all that bad or all that painful. It was just enough to mandate a trip to the hospital. I was a bit annoyed by the wait and was anxious to get back to work. Heck, I thought, at the very worse, it might need a stitch or too but, being an animal wound, they were not going to do that for the bleeding had no ceased.

The nurse entered the room, started the IV line and began asking many questions. "Do you have any allergies?" "How did this happen?" "How bad does it hurt?" "How did you get here?" All in all, pretty routine.

Then she said something that would change any and all plans I had for the rest of my day. "I just gave you some morphine, we are going to let that take effect and clean the wound. Let me know if you need any more." I thought, they couldn't have given me much. I don't think they did. I don't really feel any effects. About the time that the last sentence rolled through my head, I realized that my plans for returning to work were fading as quick as reality was retreating from me. I am now fully aware of how individuals can get hooked on this stuff.

It was about this time that the technician entered the room and asked me how I was feeling. My response was "My hands and feet feel really big, my lips are tingly and I am hungry." He laughed and proceeded to flush out the puncture wound. He asked me if I could feel any pain. I could but I simply did not care. You could have dropped an anvil on my foot. I would have felt it but would not have cared.

Next came the discharge from the ER and a walk back over to the department I worked at. I figured, due to my chemically altered state, finishing out the day was not an option. I had become very, very loopy from the morphine. This also served as a source of entertainment for my co-workers. By the time I clocked out and headed for the pharmacy, it was 3:15 PM.

I went to the out patient pharmacy that is not far from the department I work at on the health clinic campus. It seemed appropriate that I would do so for I was an outpatient. It was also supposed to be the easiest and quickest way to fill a script and use my medical benefits. I soon discovered that "quick" was 1.25 hours and that my benefits could not be used until I first spent $100 dollars and used up my deductible. By the end of my pharmacy visit my deductible was 77% met and my morphine high was fading.

Next came the joyous bus trip home. RTA is always an adventure. I knew a seat on the bus at this peak hour, for it was now almost 5 PM, was not going to happen, my leg was sure to be bumped and, my gut told me, I was very likely to talked to death by one the routes more colorful riders. (We have a good number of "outpatients" who ride the bus to keep warm.) There was also one other matter I needed to deal with. I had borrowed a few books from the library and had to return them.

As a university alumnus, I have the right to sign up for a community borrower card. I applied for the card on my last visit and was not about to return books late the first time I borrowed. I gimped on. I also figured, since I was destined to spend a good bit of time the next week on my back with an elevated leg, I would check out more material to read. It was then that I was informed that "Lincoln's Ghost" was back to haunt me one more time.

"Lincoln's Ghost" is the term I use to refer to a recurring problem I have with my schools library. It goes like this.

1. Three years ago I checked out about a dozen books on Abe Lincoln. I entered an essay based scholarship contest and wanted to get the research done. The university also has a law school library so I checked out books from both libraries. I returned the books.
2. When I went to register for the next semester, I was informed I failed to return one of the books to the law library. I went to the law library, talked to librarian, found the book on the shelf showed the shelf and had him call the registrar. I registered for class and was told every thing was okay.
3. Three weeks later, I received a bill for late fees. I headed back to the law library. Tom, the librarian, said that there is nothing on the account but it is a bursar issue. He drafted me a letter and made a phone call. I was told the matter was resolved.
4. The semester ends, my grades don't show up and I receive another letter telling me that I must resolve the issue of an unpaid library fine before I can register.

I know, it is beginning to sound like deja vous. Now the librarian was kewl about it and still let me check out the books but I was advised to resolve the issue. I gimped down to the law library and sought Tom out. He promised me to look into it. (He, so far, has actually resolved it. If this problem comes back one more time, I am going to seek an exorcist.)

Finally, I thought. I could now just bus it home. By the time I got home, I was no longer tired and the morphine had mostly worn off. My GF and I decided that a change of pace would be nice. My leg was not yet hurting... much. It was only bad when I let it rest for a bit and then tried to move. I decided constant motion was best. I had been dying to try this place I just heard of. It was a new sushi bar. Tomo's was the highlight of my day. I had 8 maki rolls and was very satisfied with the quality and the service. My GF and I both agreed it was the best we have had in the area. It was definitely the highlight of my day.

My leg was now starting to feel a little worse but it still seemed better to walk on it rather than let it sit. It seemed that keeping it still more than a few minutes resulted in a horribly painful cramp. I decided that we could still stop off at Target and do some window-shopping. We wandered the aisle for about an hour and found nothing we desired. My GF was, for obvious reasons, going to drive home. I decided it was about time to take a Percoset. I was dozing before she got me home.

Once she shook me to a zombified awake, I staggered into the house and immediately fell into bed. I did not sleep well but was ready to return to work in the AM. That, however, is another story.

All in all, it was not too bad a day. The ending of it was nice. I loved the sushi. The worst part was all of the waiting and waiting. Tomorrow, however, would be different.