Lumpy's Corner

Mr. Murphy was originally a Captain. I am confident the reader will agree after reading this blog that his endeavors in my life warrant promotion to Commander in Chief.

The saga drudges on as follows:

Friday, 8APR2005

I leave my shift at 8 AM and hop a bus to my girlfriend's house. I was not aware of it at the time but Mr. Murphy decided to tag along. En route to Grinny's (that is what I call my GF in this blog to find out why read this blog), needed to stop off at my university. I need this letter to rectify an administrative error, which is currently disrupting my past two semesters of attendance.

It is 11 AM before I dig deep enough to realize that I cannot resolve the problem that day. It seems that they cannot find the letter I need. I am not surprised. This is the same university that could not find my transfer paperwork, my graduation paper work, declared my major wrong, transferred me into the wrong college and promised that I would graduate "this semester" for two and a half years. Once again, the bureaucratic beast of the uni's administration has shredded another day of my life into useless shards if fragmented time and it is also too late to consider getting any renovation done at the side job I have lined up.

I swear, if I ever do graduate I have a great plan for a thesis. I am going to build a mini transmitter, attach it to some university paper work, submit it and discover the first planetary black hole.

I do all I can do; Hop a bus, which arrived late, commute home and sleep. I try and rest up for my upcoming third shift.

Saturday, 9APR2005

I punch in and Saturday begins. The shift is hectic. Mr. Murphy is definitely in my company. I survive the shift and end up staying over a half an hour just to deal with Mr. Murphy痴 medaling.

Finally I can leave; I head to the time clock, rush for the exit, race to the bus stop and, just as the stop comes into view, I watch my ride race off. Foiled again, I have no choice but to postpone my side job one more day.

I, unfortunately, must still head out to the side job with car and pick up my tools. This action hurts, gasoline is over 2 dollars a gallon and any use of Grinny's car without a savings of money or the generation of money is nothing more than a waste. Grinny comes along for the ride and Mr. Murphy rides shotgun. Grinny and I load the tools. Mr. Murphy hides the one I need most. The slick master has even assured that the part we need most is not packed with the dishwasher as it is shipped.

Grinny is, much more often than not, right. Our best move as a team is for me to crash at my pace while she labors at studies at the university. We do so. I sleep fitfully and, later, pick her up, head to school, swap drivers seats and proceed.

Sunday, 10APR2005

Today is the day. My siblings an I bought my parent a new dishwasher for their birthdays. Guess who gets to install it? This is not a big deal actually for I spent most of my years on this planet, second only to cyberspace, dealing with residential renovation and repair. Grinny and I get up early and attend the 8:30 mass complete with a car stacked with tools. We then make the trek to my parents.

The good Mr. Murphy was not responsible for the first obstacle. The first one is an adjustment caused by something new in my life. I am currently wearing bifocals so I credit that one to Father Time. I looked like some type of deranged pigeon with my head bobbing up and down to find the right focal point. My neck is still sore.

"Murph" also made sure he had the last laugh. He yanked my arm and made sure I bashed my right thumb on the only sharp corner of the old rusty dishwasher. His cursed action caused me to split my thumb from the very tip right to the base of my thumbnail. Exactly on the edge of the thumbnail, leaving nothing more than a fraction of an inch attached to the cuticle. The kind of wound that: is just a hair short of an emergency room visit, a painful wound that will linger, that will remind you that your stronger hand is the right one, that will tempt you to curse... Cursed Mr. Murphy has made me feel like a primate lacking opposing digits.

We work on it as long as we dare for I do have to work that evening. Of course, Mr. Murphy tagged along to assure we were one part and one tool short, we must return. Homeward bound, with throbbing thumb, for too little sleep and another long shift. I am now getting very irritable. I leave for work and Monday begins.

Monday, 11APR2005

By this time I am getting punchy I have averaged about 4-5 hours sleep per night since Friday. All I want to do is go to my parents, take the 15-20 minutes it should take to finish up and go home and sleep. Of course, it could never be that simple. First, I HAVE to leave work late, then Grinny gets stuck in traffic picking me up (in other words, leaving late is mute).

So Grinny and I arrive. My mother informs me that Dad wishes us not to start until he returns from his doctors appointment. This is not a real big deal since that should only be about 15-30 minutes. Grinny and I wanted to go back into the woods and dig up a fern anyhow so, shovel and box in hand, off we went. I also saw a few flowers I wished to capture in bytes and bits.

We fully expected Dad home when we returned... NOT. Now I was getting annoyed. Keep in mind that my parents communicate with each other about as well as the Biblical residents of Babel. I am now deciding to just start. Of course the first think I must do is bash my already throbbing thumb.

After a brief tap dance of pain, I install the dishwasher. My mother treats Grinny and I to steak. Dad finally comes home... :( My father is not a talker but when he gets with one of his rifle team buddies ditch the clock. Dad's 9:30 AM became 1 PM. Needless to say, we must bolt. I must sleep. I am cranky and as Grinny notes "not girlfriend friendly".

All I want to do is go home and sleep but Grinny and I need to take advantage of the cheaper gas prices and a trip to Aldi's first. We find gas a 2.15 a gallon a deal since most stations are 2.34, hit Aldi's and finally make it on the freeway home about 2:30.

As soon as we get on the freeway, traffic stops. There is a major accident. It took two and a half hours to move 11 miles to EXIT the freeway. What do we see as soon as we exit? A gas station at 2.11 per gallon.

Finally, we get home, unload and I prepare for another thumb-throbbing nap of too little sleep. Grinny is a saint. She cooks, helps me get ready and is too kewl to this "not girlfreind freindly" guy.

Sunday, 12APR2005

I wake, bus to work, caffeinate to fend off Mr. Sandman and look forward to simply going home in the AM and sleep.

I decide to look over my schedule just before I leave so that I can figure out when to work on this side job and the Fraternity house. It is then that I notice I have a dental appointment at 1:30 PM. So lets see if I hop a bus home I can get there by 10:00 and then I would catch the bust to the dental school at 10:27... hmm... I guess Mr. Murphy followed me from my parents.

Monday, 19APR2005

The nicest and most decent woman I ever met in my life decides I a "too poor" to be with. Make it official. I am depressed. I really am having a very tough time even convincing myself that I should want to live.

I mean why try?

Tuesday, 20APR2005

Grinny and I decide we can weather the storm. She is stressing, nothing more. Life is a roller coaster and not always fun. I am going to be a busy boy dealing with many things.

I am still writing every day. I will be posting blogs. I am going to be a busy, busy boy. Whether Mr. Murphy tags along or not, Grinny and I will survive and manage.

Sunday, 24APR2005

Spring has left. Winter is back. An inch and a half of cold wet snow and a boatload of cold.