First off this blog was meant to be several separate entries...
Unfortunately, there seems to be a discrepancy in exactly what the word "complete" means between the server company and I...
So, now compiled, here are my last few blogs...
0230 - 0430 GMT-5 At work nicotine free and loosing my mind.
It has now been four full days and 40 minutes since my last cigarette... I have consumed 10 fingernails in that same time frame. EVERYTHING is such an annoyance right now. The dirt my co-worker neglected to tend to, the stock my co-worker forgot to tend to... The noises the equipment is making... I am tense.... I am wiggin the freak out... and that is not all of it.... As far as the health benefits of quitting goes, I have been feeling them since day two... but I still insanely want a cigarette. Label me an addict.
My senses are so freaking perked right now. My brain is not used to getting this much oxygen. Every little noise is driving my crazy. Four days no cigarettes, I feel better but I am now a raving lunatic.
PLEASE heed my warning on this one. If you do not smoke, do not start. If you work for a tobacco company, do not inform me of such for I am very likely to harm you.
But hey, I blogged again.
Crescendo
23AUG2004 aprox 0700 GMT-5
My head is going to explode, it aches right down into my right ear and molar. It is the kind of head ache that puts tears in your eyes. I can not concentrate. I am feeling like a basket case. My body wants only one thing... Badly.
This whole quitting cigarettes thingie was going miserably. I have made it four days but I am nothing more than a cranky, irritable junkie! I am not going to make it. I have one more hour to go. I am leaving here and I am going to have a cigarette.. Then an odd thing happened.
The headache left, my ear stopped aching and a weird sense of calm came over me. The intense insane urge I had been feeling for the past four days was gone. An hour later, my shift ended. I crossed the clinic's campus walked right by the smoker's area, felt rather undaunted. I was going to do this.
Now the only issue is the 17.00 dollar breakfast I consumed before I left home. Of course the mountain bike ride home sure helped with that, and felt better than ever.
I am not saying that I feel that I will never, ever have another urge for something engineered to kill me but I am happy to believe that the insane constant urge part of it is now over. I have now passed five days with out a cancer stick.
Shortly after I got home I head up to the corner store, on the way in an area bum did what he always does "Can you help a guy out with a cigarette?"
"Sorry, man, gave em up"..
Man that felt good, I honestly don't think I have ever said that in my life.
4AUG04
i almost got weak this am
i walked by the smokers area on the clinic campus...
was thinking of "bummin'" one...
you know what i saw...
a lady sitting there puffing away...
she had shut off here oxygen tank to do so...
i asked her what she was here for...
... awaiting open heart surgery...
that was enough to make me keep walking..
